We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
