Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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