Barsexuality is the new black.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
