I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
