That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just cut my nipple shaving
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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