Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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