i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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