His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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