ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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