I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
