lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Randomize
