I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
