All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I supernannyed him into submission
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
