I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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