A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
