i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
