smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They took my balls.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
