You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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