we have officially lost it.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
