Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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