Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
