I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize