He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
