I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
