she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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