then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
