the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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