he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
