I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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