i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
