But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
