My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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