The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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