Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize