my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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