We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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