Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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