So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
