that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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