3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize