you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
