is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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