you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
