Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
