my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
