office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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