I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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