omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Holy sore nipples Batman
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
