So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You dont lie about slip and slides
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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