I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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