Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
