I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
they need to just BURY HIM!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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