I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
