ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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