he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
