he puts the penis in happiness.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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