whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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