What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
