I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
