Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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