when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
