I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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