it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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