Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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