mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
