Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
