it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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