Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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