possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
