Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize