I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
